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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?